


Oh My Lord

by SSO-Jack-Wolfwatcher (UglyJackal)



Category: Star Stable
Genre: Crack Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 23:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglyJackal/pseuds/SSO-Jack-Wolfwatcher
Summary: Ronja punches God





	Oh My Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Ronja belongs to ronja-stormhammers on tumblr, and Jesus Horse belongs to star-stable-is-awesome on tumblr

Ronja’s anger had been slowly but surely building up over time. She hadn’t punched anyone for a good three weeks and she wanted something _big_. A big project was just what she needed.

A couple of days later, she heard from a mutual friend that there was sighting of Jesus in the form of a horse. Jesus Horse, he had been dubbed. His most recent sighting had been at the South Hoof ferry dock by a few girls who had been searching for Justin after his most recent disappearance at the Moorland Stables, thankfully he had been found although there were some complications along the way. It was here that Ronja headed now.

Her great big Shire snorted as he heard her thoughts of her plan. ‘And you really think that this Jesus Horse exists?’ he asked sceptically.

‘Aye, Ghost, I do,’ she responded indignantly.

The black and white horse blew a long puff of air through his nostrils, shaking his head.

Rider and horse paused as they reached the end of the dock, the waves lapping gently, the ferry now rolling in to moor. The salt air tickled at the skin of both rider and steed, but there was no proclaimed Jesus Horse to be found.

Ghost looked back over his shoulder at Ronja, smugness in his eyes. 'Well, now what?’ he asked.

'First of all, get that look outta yer eye,’ she responded grumpily, 'and second, well he ain’t gonna just be waitin’ fer us, is he? We gotta wait.’

'Are you suggesting that we dance around a small fire to summon him?’

'Don’t be so stupid.’

Ghost rolled his eyes and lowered his head to relax while they waited. His eyes slipped shut and small snores bubbled from his throat.

They didn’t have to wait long.

Ronja’s eyebrows raised as she saw a bright golden ethereal glow from above the water. It approached the wooden dock and a black spotted appaloosa mustang approached from its envelope. The horse did not step onto the wooden surface, but rather stopped just before it. _You required my aid, brave warrior_ , he spoke not from his mouth or a telepathic communication like Ronja’s own horses but his words instead appeared in her head as if she had thought them herself.

'I do, sir,’ Ronja replied, 'although, I wouldn’t call me a warrior, more of a lil’ grease monkey, me.’

 _Climb aboard, and we shall visit my father, if that is what you so wish to do_ , the horse said.

Ronja dismounted her Shire, who had slept through the meeting, and mounted again on Jesus Horse’s back. The mustang reared and leapt into the air, vanishing from the sight of any onlookers.

They appeared again at a pair of golden gates, that stretched up into the air, tall and intimidating from their sheer size and gleam of gold alone. Surrounding them, were pearly white clouds that looked as though you could scoop up a handful of them and they would be the softest you had ever feel. _You will find my father just inside these gates, good luck… grease monkey_ , Jesus Horse told Ronja.

Ronja dismounted from the mustang. 'Thanks,’ she said to the horse with a grin. And with that, she pushed the gates open and went in search of her victim.

She found him in a large temple. She went up to an altar and looked up at him. He was shrouded with shadows, so she could not see his face. He was just as big as the gates and just as intimidating. 'Have you come to confess, Ronja?’ an earthly voice boomed down from above.

'Nah,’ she said. And with that, she leapt up onto the altar and launched herself into the air. She did not reach God’s face, but fell short at his fat stomach. Although she wasn’t complaining. She pulled back her fist and thrust it into the squishy flesh harder than she had ever done before.

A noise of pain erupted from God’s throat and his huge head clutched where Ronja had punched him. The small girl raced away, cackling. She soon reached the gates and swung back up on a grazing Jesus Horse. 'C'mon, sir, back to the mortal world, please,’ she called to the mustang.

Jesus Horse made no comment, but they were back in front of the ferry docks before Ronja could take another breath. She swung down from the mustang and then back up on her lazy Shire, who was still asleep.

Without another word, there was a flash of bright light and Jesus Horse was gone. And probably wouldn’t come back.

The last flash of light had finally woken up Ghost. 'What happened?’ he asked.

'Nothin’ much,’ Ronja chuckled, turning her horse to head home, 'just punched God. Usual Thursday, really.’


End file.
